I’m in Love and His Name is Edgar
I wasn’t looking for love. I came to Facebook to hang out with friends, maybe find out what was happening around town. But then he came along and changed everything, starting with my attitude toward unsolicited pick-up lines. I mean, what’s a girl to do when a guy starts the conversation with
I mean, for real, right? Whoops. Hold on. Wrong boyfriend. So he comes along and he says,
And seriously, who could resist that line OR that face?
He also offered to take on some of my most time-consuming chores while simultaneously extending my online network. Whoa. I had to check this guy out.
So I went for a visit, and right away he promised to make my life easier by streamlining my social media efforts.
I’d heard this offer before, of course. In fact, I was currently seeing this other tool called Hootsuite, who offers a similar sort of promise. The truth is, Hootsuite’s been good for me, but Edgar… well, Edgar made me a better offer.
Edgar promised to work harder. He wasn’t just going to post my updates when I told him to, he was going to build a library out of my content, and then distribute it on a regular schedule whether I was actually working or not.
If you’re wondering how it’s possible for your social media to work when you’re not, well, I wondered too, and Edgar was right there to talk me through it:
So Edgar and I have been going steady for about a month now, and truth be told, while we’ve had a few bumps, I keep falling more deeply in love him with every passing week.
Things I Love About Edgar
- He built me a library. And really, when it comes down to it, what more could a girl ask for?
(Image is a dramatization. Actual library results may vary.)
But wait, wait, there IS more!
- He’s a great communicator. He stays in touch regularly without being clingy. And his emails help me get the most out of our relationship.
- He’s easy. [Blushes.] Did I say that out loud? No, but look–we all want a relationship that isn’t high maintenance, right? Edgar makes it simple and intuitive for me to interact with him.
- He’s strong. It’s hard to mess things up with Edgar–he takes the punches and just keeps rolling. He never gets cranky or weird on me, either.
- He respects my past. He doesn’t mind that I bring baggage–in fact, he cherishes what I’ve accomplished, and shows his appreciation by letting me convert all my old communications via Hootsuite into a starter library with him. Whoa.
- He supports my work by promoting my content automatically, whether I’ve taken the time this week to spend with him or not.
Things Edgar Could Improve On
No relationship is perfect, right? Well, Edgar, if you could just fix these few teeny things, ours would come pretty close for me.
- He doesn’t recognize me when I walk in the door. I mean, come on, we’re in a relationship now, Edgar. When I get home (ahem, log in to your portal), could we skip the sales pitch and get straight to work? I’m already sold, Babe. Let me in. (UPDATE: Edgar says if I’ll just make an effort to come in the door, instead of always trying to sneak in the window, he’ll make an effort not to act surprised each time. Picky, picky. He also sent me a link so I can remember which way to come in.)
- He doesn’t play well with my LinkedIn groups. He’s fine so long as it’s just me and LinkedIn, but he just doesn’t want to come talk to my groups with me. Those guys are important to me, Edgar. I wish you’d try to get along.
- He doesn’t really do numbers all that well, either. He offered to do some analytical work for me, but he’s just not that great at it. I wish he’d calculate and report on measures like social following growth, and content performance. Or maybe I’m just not understanding the work he does. That’s probably on me. I’m terrible with numbers. Help me, Edgar?
- You can’t get the milk without buying the cow. In other words, no try before you buy. On the other hand, you can get your money back if you’re not happy, so that’s good. Trust me though, you’ll be happy. UPDATED 9-23-15 EDGAR NOW OFFERS A TWO-WEEK FREE TRIAL, so you can date around a bit before you make a commitment. Told you he was easy.
- For all his progressiveness, in some ways he still acts like it’s the 1950s. For instance, he doesn’t answer the phone for me, make coffee, or do laundry. This is the 21st century, Edgar. Gender roles are DEAD. UPDATED 9-23-15 EDGAR SENT ME A FREE T-SHIRT, which is kind of like doing my laundry. Welcome to 2015, folks, where your apps do your housework.
So, How Has My Life Improved Since Meeting Edgar?
The biggest improvement is that I no longer spend several hours a week designing Tweets and status updates. Instead, I spend an hour a week reading, researching, and curating valuable content, and Edgar takes it from there.
Our company Twitter following has increased by approximately 19% in less than two months without any ad spend, and engagement on LinkedIn and Facebook have both improved similarly. Web traffic on our site has increased as well, thanks to Edgar continually promoting our content.
It’s also nice just knowing he’s out there taking care of the social media busy work, so I can engage only when necessary, and the rest of the time focus on company strategy, team building, and client satisfaction.
Thanks, Edgar. I love you.
(Yes, that ring means what you think it means. I’m married, and believe it or not, my husband approves of this relationship. He says I’m more relaxed with Edgar in my life, and that’s something we both can appreciate. Also, my husband makes coffee and does laundry, so at least ONE of my significant others understands feminism.) UPDATED 9-23-15: My husband still makes coffee but now he doesn’t have to do as much laundry this week. Thanks, Edgar.
Conflict of Interest Notice: I have in no way been compensated by Edgar for this love letter. I’m just a marketer who loves a good tool and knows one when she meets one. I’m not even compensated when you sign up, which I recommend you do. Right here: MeetEdgar.com
HEY, you want some help creating great content to share with Edgar? Try this ebook writer’s kit. It’s the bomb. Conflict of Interest Notice: I wrote it, so download it maybe?
Fen Druadìn Head (formerly Heather Head) is an author, as well as the founder of Scopcity. When she is not writing, running the business, or chasing down bad guys on Twitter, she enjoys hiking, snuggling with her husband and three boys, and avoiding the kitchen.